Dear Reluctant Shopper,

If you are reading this, I can only assume that you're hesitating to buy this audiobook. Maybe you're thinking / don't know anything about this audiobook; I would like more information. Should I buy it based solely on the exceptionally striking cover shot?  'Well, that's a good enough reason for me.

Look, your wishy-washy attitude is really starting to rub me the wrong way. You know what?  Maybe you should set the audiobook down and let someone more attractive buy it!  I'm sorry, that was uncalled for. Deep breath.. .let it out slowly. I'm sure in some circles you're considered attractive. I'm sure by now you're skipping past the register...What, you still haven't bought it!?

All right, fine, you win. I'll tell you a little about the audiobook. The first thing you should know is: I like parties! Here are some of the helpful suggestions you'll get by listening to this audiobook:

1.  It's always a good idea to stock your neighbor's apartment with the basics (alcohol, ice, corn chips...) so when you run out at three o'clock in the morning, you know whose door to knock on.

2. Try filling your medicine cabinet with marbles. Nothing announces a nosy partygoer more successfully than an avalanche of marbles striking a porcelain sink.

3. Pre-crack all your liquor bottles. No one wants to be the first, especially at a wake.

Convinced? I thought so. Just remember: sometimes you can judge an audiobook by its cover, or in this case, its tremendously gorgeous cover. I'll see you on the inside.

AMY SEDARIS has appeared often on screen, both large and small. She's co-creator, with Stephen Colbert and Paul Dinello, of Comedy Central's hit show Strangers with Candy and half of the Obie-winning "Talent Family" playwright team (with her brother, David). Amy lives in Manhattan with the ghost of her imaginary boyfriend, Ricky, and her rabbit, Dusty.